Love your body - cultivating self-image

Mental health is a big buzz word/phrase nowadays and rightly so. We are told over and over that we have to love ourselves, attend to our own mental health first. The whole 'put your oxygen mask on first' is something that I get. You can't pour from an empty cup and all the other analogues around this topic are so true.

But, it sure ain't easy to 'love yourself' when you are constantly surrounded by a society telling you otherwise.

One of my biggest gripes over the last decade has been over how women, ageing, and the menopause are portrayed. It's why I created Mid-Life Magick, because I was so over the premise that I am now sat in the staging room for the inevitable. Next stop......well you get my drift.

• I'm supposed to love myself, whilst being told that I am past my best.

• I'm supposed to love my changing body, whilst being told that a young, firm body is the most desirable.

• I'm supposed to love myself, whilst being told that I have nothing of worth to give now my child bearing years are over (an even bigger pill to swallow if you didn't have the babies in the first place!)

I was joking with a friend that I probably had 30 'good' years left. As the conversation went on those years started to reduce until we got to maybe 20 'good' years!

Then as I was talking to a new client about navigating the death of parents. She said that one of the things that came to the forefront for her when she lost her mum and dad, was how we are now at the front of the queue. We've taken a step to the edge of the cliff, and there is no-one in front of us. Our generation is next.

These are all such sobering thoughts. And all the while we have to love ourselves. Seems a lot of pressure right!

The whole notion around body image and what it should be has been something I have been toying with for quite a while now.

Due to a variety of health issues last year my exercise became non-existent and my diet changed considerably. The result was that I gained weight. About 1 stone (14lbs/6ks - covering all bases here!

It came at a time when I was stepping back into the fitness arena, and starting to work as a yoga teacher and personal trainer again. I had scaled right back and ultimately stopped when looking after my ailing dad after we lost mum.

So I was looking at my own cliff edge, wondering if I really wanted to spent the next 3 decades (possibly less!) worrying over my body, and how it looked. But, at the same time being susceptable to the pressures put on us as women (and more so within the fitness industry) to look a certain way. It's a dichotomy that we are somehow supposed to find the balance in

In reality it's a mind ***k, and one that I am still working through. My ducks are definitely not all lined up, in fact.....

What has helped me is having conversations with other women going through the same and realising that I am not the only one having these thoughts.

We all have them, because we are all subjected to the same 'brainwashing'.

Just imagine what would happen if instead of being told we must hold onto the 'fountain of our youth' and stay young, firm and pretty (whatever that means) we were told that these bodies of ours are magnificent. That our softness is what makes us feminine. That we are our safe harbour no matter what we look like.

That we are strong and powerful because of the transition of menopause. Its gift is in the wisdom that it invites us to return to. Rooted in confidence instead of constantly comparing and falling short.

There is a term that has also become something of a buzz phrase over the last few years. That of 'imperfectly perfect'.

Oh how I hate this. My argument being that we are all unique, therefore we are all perfect in our own way. It's how we were created, and each human life is created in mirror with 'mumma nature'. There is no imperfect when there is no comparison.

These are the conversations I want to have with my fellow sisters. Meaningful and uplifting. Not negative because we have been taught that is what this stage is. Because menopause is not a stage, but a transformation. A shedding of what was, and a stepping into the light of what we have now become.

A light that can shine the way for those to come, encouraging them forward as strong women, instead of setting them on a path where they tear themselves down.

It's time that we took up space again. As women. As the feminine. Space to love, nurture and mirror mumma nature. And it starts with us. Loving, nurturing and turning away from what has been presented to us.

Stopping the desire to be what we were, to look like someone else or to mourn what we think we have lost.

Tuning in and turning towards the greatness that we all have within us.

We are all perfect. End of.

I'd love to hear what you think about this....

Helen x